Saying Goodbye

Nine months ago I was leaving the place I have lived my entire life. Tonight I'm getting ready to leave the place I now call home. How do I even begin to say my final goodbye to this wonderful place? I know I have so much to look forward to when I get home. My first summer living away from home, senior year of college and graduation, and the prospect of making the choices that will determine the rest of my life. But for now, I think it's appropriate that I sit back, cry, have my last cup of instant coffee and reflect on this past year.

I have said my goodbyes to all but one of my friends and flatmates and it has been the most difficult time of my life. The people I have met during my time in the UK are ones that I can call my best friends, and they are friends that I want to keep in touch with and continue my friendship with for a long long time. I never thought that I could grow so close to people that I just met, I mean in my two years at Central so far, I can count my true friends on one hand; here, I feel like I have met so many amazing people and I'm not even going to attempt to count.

I will miss typing 3658# to get into my building (and trying my best to remember this number when we come home after nights of drinking)

I miss cigarette breaks with Mark and Tom out by the bins. So many good conversations happened here, and so many good memories.

I miss being dumb with Jo and making fun of her inability to pronounce words.

I miss trains and public transportation, no matter how obnoxious it could be at times.

I miss coffee dates with Fay, chatting about life and planning my return to the UK.

I miss long afternoons in the social learning room of the library with Shireen, trying to do work, but just facebook stalking and eating Haribo.

I miss Tecwyn, always being a good advisor to us. He was such a help whenever things were tough, and it's going to be crazy not having him so close to help me fight with Central.

I miss going out. Pregaming with H block, hitting the pubs and then ending the night drunkenly at Occy. Where else in the world is it appropriate to do some of the things we did?

I miss Jack yelling at me, or reminding me that I'm a woman and should be in my rightful place in the kitchen. :)

I miss spending afternoons downtown with Jo, going to Boots, H&M, New Look and Costa; spending money we didn't have and drinking coffee we didn't need. Then taking the long way back to Ffridd, past Morrison's just because we couldn't be bothered with Bitch Hill.

I miss looking out my kitchen window and seeing the mountain in the distance.

I miss having so much free time, and not ever feeling like we had anything to do (even when we had essays and exams to study for)

I miss standing in the middle of Paddys, belting out songs at the top of my lungs and not feeling silly because everyone else was doing it too.

I miss watching tech reviews and silly Youtube channels with the boys.

I miss feeling like it's ok to have a beer with every meal, no matter what time of day it happens to be.

I miss paying Mark (or being paid) for food or drink when one of us didn't have any and couldn't be bothered to go get our own.

I miss trying to piece everyone's stories together the next morning to find out what exactly happened the night before.

I miss wearing the same clothes as many times as I could because trying to find a spare 2 hours to do laundry just didn't work most weeks.

I miss chill nights in Uno, having a drink or two and playing pool with the guys. I never did get any better, but they never complained about having me as a partner. :)

I miss being in class with 18 year olds who know so much about Linguistics. I feel like I knew nothing at that age (and still don't) about linguistics, and I'm super impressed at their knowledge.

I miss being able to buy a ticket last minute and jet off to another country for a few days or a week, but always wanting to be back in Bangor after a few days because I was missing everybody.

I miss trying to master the Welsh accent using the phrase "Who's coat is that jacket?" and failing every time. And then making fun of Nathan about this at any given point.

I miss chatting about boys with Jo.

I miss the nights where all I wanted to do was sleep in my bathroom (and the ones where I actually did...)

I miss forgetting that electrical plugs here have to be switched on before use.

I miss trying to plan fancy dress and theme parties. At no other point in my life have I been excited about painting my body blue and being a crayon.

I miss the British accent and vocabulary. Way cooler than anything I hear back in Iowa.

I miss picnics, barbecues and sitting outside on nice days, even when it was still cold.

I miss adventures to other places, to meet other people's friends, and coming back with new friends of my own.

I miss the morning after text, "You alright? Alive?"

I miss feeling so much older than everyone, but only in age. They are all much more mature than I was when I was 18 and 19.

I miss trying to figure out why Mark is such a gangster. :)

I miss being made fun of for crying so much, but being comforted when it was serious crying.

I miss crab fishing and screaming every time we caught one, because we were afraid of it.

I miss changing my life decisions every few days, and telling the flat about it.

I miss finding 8tracks mixes to fit every day (my bookmarked pages can prove this)

I miss only having 8 hours of class and seminar a week, but feeling like I learned so much.

I miss being in classes where the lecturer didn't know my name, life story, or when I didn't show up.

I miss getting take away a few times a week because cooking was just too hard. ;)

I miss getting the taxi home after a night out because we had lost our legs somewhere between pregaming and Occy.

I miss stealing posters off various buildings so I could increase my collection.

I miss spending a majority of my money on alcohol and cigarettes and not feeling bad about it.

I miss fieldtrips. Being threatened to stay awake on the bus (even when we were hungover), but being so appreciative that I didn't miss everything by falling asleep.

I miss quoting films in any and every conversation, and it making perfect sense. "Daddy would you like some sosij?"

I miss having to ask the security guys for my post, and getting pity looks when I never had anything.

I miss playing Doom in Jack's room with the lights off. Mark, Tom, Jack and I drinking beer and screaming when scary stuff went down.

I miss my little Cefn y Coed room, that I called home for such a long time.

I miss Jack trying to rub his stinky armpits on my bed and rolling around like a dog so everything I own would smell like him.

I miss catching up with everyone about their days over dinner.

I miss cooking as a flat, and sharing Thanksgiving, Sunday dinner, roast lamb and curry.

I miss climbing the hill, coming home and throwing the window open because it is so hot, and then having the heater on 15 minutes later.

I miss having mismatched kitchen supplies and eating all of my meals out of a bowl for ages because I didn't own a plate. (or a knife for that matter)

I miss every single person I know coming to check on me when I was sick (whether I wanted them to see me or not) and insisting I go to the doctor when it got worse.

I miss knowing that whenever I got bored someone was just a text away for a film, a chat or an adventure.

I miss knowing that my best friend was only three doors down and always up for a chat or a film. And my other best friend was only one building away and was always up for a little Grey's Anatomy or Degrassi.

I know my list of things I will miss is long, but it's nowhere near as long as it could be. I can't stress enough how amazing this year has been and how much my life has changed because of my experiences here. I know that this isn't goodbye forever, but just see you later while I go back to Iowa and finish school. If all goes according to plan I should be back in the UK in September of next year. I have a job offer in Bangor, and I want to get my masters degree in Linguistics. I'm looking at Essex, Sheffield and Bangor as possible schools, and I can't wait for where the next few years might lead me.

My train to Manchester leaves in exactly three hours, and I have nothing left to do until then. My bags are packed, my room is clean and my box of kitchen supplies has already been given to Tecwyn for storage until the new students arrive in the fall. So I guess it's time for some crying, reflection and preparation to leave my home of the last year. I only hope that I can make the journey home without being that girl who cries the entire journey and makes a fool of herself on the plane for it. But we'll see what happens.

So see ya later UK! It's been real, and it's been good; for now I have to leave, but I will be back so soon, and you had better get ready. :)

xxx